How has your HIV status affected your family members and friends?

My status definitely had a strong affect on my family's life. My oldest brother Leon had AIDS and died in 1991, so there was a lot of fear about HIV/AIDS. As I mentioned in my bio, my mother was the first person I told, and her response set the precedence of my acceptance.

After getting my results, I ran back to drugs, alcohol and denial. When I told her of my relapse, I told her it was because of finding out that I was positive. She simply stated that she understood, and suggested I focus on living and wait for a cure. She compared HIV to Syphilis, because in her youth there was no cure for it, and people died from it, but through science, a cure eventually was found. When times got overwhelming and stressful for me, I was glad that I told her immediately. She was someone who I could talk to, and she was there as my mother and as a Registered Nurse.

I got upset when she told other members of my family, but upon thinking of why, I understood. It had to be devastating for her, so I apologized to her for my anger. I gave her permission to feel free to seek the support she needs. As time went on I became more accepting of my status which allowed me to feel confident enough to talk about my health issues with my sister, brother, niece, and nephews. Because of my brother Leon, my immediate family was past all the ignorance around transmission. So my family never made me feel like a leper. I also had great experience with friends.

I have truly been blessed in living my life as a HIV positive man, but I do understand that some of my brothers and sisters have not had it so easy. I try to demonstrate to them that acceptance starts within, and when you start to love yourself authentically, it doesn’t matter what others think or do. You’ll be all right. When you are given lemons in life, learn to make lemonade.