I can’t say directly I’ve suffered any financial lost since my diagnosis. Indirectly it was fear that cost me. When I was diagnosed in 1993 I was already reeling from the deaths of my two lovers. John, who was my first love, was murdered and Matthew, my second love, died of AIDS after three years. Right when I thought I could go on, I received the news that I was HIV positive. I just knew I was going to die soon. So I gave up on any hope of having a future. All thoughts of school or any other dreams I had felt out of reach.

The time I would have spent going to school and pursuing a career, was lost to my constant fear of dying and hopelessness. I focused so much on dying that I spent no time focusing on living, and ultimately wasting many productive years that would have afforded me a different path, and most likely a much more financially enriched life.

Today I do not focus on finances a lot. I feel blessed that all of my basic needs are and have always been taken care of. I finally returned to school and although financial rewards are slow coming, I see great things coming to me in the near future. I like to think of my life parallel to the bamboo plant, which grows many years showing no outward growth, but when it finally grows, it sprouts tall and fast, because of the deep roots it had been growing under the soil.