Vivian
Hometown: New York, New York
Positive Since: January 1996
Relationship Status: Married
Age: 56
Hobby: Anything to do with art and design
I was born in 1952 in New York City. I was the eldest of six children. My parents were from Puerto Rico and family was always very important to all of us. However, growing up as a transgender woman I had to fight a lot of discrimination, violence and sexual abuse. As a young adult I kept some distance from my family, but I always knew I had their love and respect. Throughout my life even though I’ve battled addiction and prostitution, I’ve always had a job. I’ve worked as a factory worker, dancer, barmaid and office assistant.
HIV/AIDS is something that has really affected my life. I allowed myself to get infected over ten years ago by my husband. I know now that it was not the right thing to do, but its what I did. Looking back I have a lot of mixed feeling of what happened or why it happened. However, now I look forward and try to live in healthy and productive way. My spouse and I work together to live healthy lives. I would like people to know that you need to love yourself first and that means you have to protect yourself - it is the only way that you can really help anyone you love.
Because I have lost a number of family members and close friends to AIDS, I now work as a peer educator at Housing Works. I have a real passion to educate other transgender women in HIV awareness as well as other life coping skills.
I have been HIV positive for over a decade now and I’m very happy living with my husband. My family and I are much closer. I would like to continue to improve the safety and quality of life for all transgender women, as well as educating society at large about this very targeted and at risk community.
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A New Perspective
What do you think life will be like after there is a cure?
I think this is a funny question. If there is a cure I think people will go a little crazy, but there are still a lot of other things you can get. You can get the clap, herpes, etc.. Some of these things don't even show symptoms!
I think folks who would be cured would be thankful to God. They would probably be more careful with their sexual encounters. You don’t go through something like this and not learn anything. It gives you a new perspective and you don’t know if it will come back or something new is about to hit.
I think many people would think of their old friends who didn’t make it and remember what they went through and think twice about getting crazy with sex.
An Opporunity for Engagement
How does new forms of communicating technology affect HIV prevention?
I think this is a great because it gives people more privacy to learn about prevention. It’s a good opportunity to really engage people. I think more people will find more comfort and more details about HIV with technology like blackberrys, iphones and the internet. I personally am old fashion and like to speak to people one and one. I like to share my knowledge with other people who made need my help.
It Doesn't Matter Where You Come From, HIV is the Same
Does your ethnicity or culture effect the way you view HIV prevention?
I’m a New Rican, but I don’t’ really think that my ethnicity has anything to do with prevention. It doesn’t matter where you come from, you always need to use a condom. Always use a new condom – always have fresh condoms. I’ve lost two family members and a lot of close friends to HIV and they are all from different cultures. It doesn’t matter where your from, HIV is the same. HIV doesn’t discriminate.
We Have Everything We Need
How has your sex life changed since you became positive?
I’ve learned to have safer sex and be more cautious. My sex life has been wonderful despite the fact that I had to use protection. I've been with my spouse for over 25 years and we have everything we need with our sex life. I would encourage people who are recently positive to read a lot about sex. Just because you are positive doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy sex. There are lot safe ways to have sex and really enjoying yourself.
Bali, Boss
Vivian and I work together, and I feel that we learn a lot from each other. Together, we work to empower other transgender women to protect themselves and to stay safe.
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Anthony
Posted June 25th, 2009Vivian,
Congratulations for all the work you do. You should be very proud. Remember to always take care of yourself, so you can continue to make progress helping yourself and others. We are rooting for you!