Martha

Hometown: Puerto Rico
Positive Since: 1989
Relationship Status: Single
Age: 50
Proudest Moment: Becoming sober

I moved from Puerto Rico to New York in 1977. I wanted to learn to speak English, get an education, and a good job. I put a lot of pressure on myself to do all of these things at once and it became too much to handle. I turned to drugs because they made me feel stronger, but then I got addicted. My husband was also addicted and we lost everything, including our family. When my mother learned about our addiction, I had to give up custody of my children to her. I only wanted it to be a temporary situation, while I got clean, but I couldn’t do it.

As an addict, I took a lot of risks. In 1987, I started to get sick. I was in and out of the hospital with all kinds of illnesses like pneumonia and bronchitis. I knew I had HIV but I ignored my illness for a long time. Finally, in 1989, I tested positive. I got HIV from interchanging needles.

Because of my addiction, I faced a lot of rejection. In the long run this has made me a stronger, more accepting person. I know that AIDS has the power to kill me. I have learned to take care of myself, and be honest with my partners and community. Most of all, I have learned to love myself.

Today I am okay, despite everything. My social worker, family, and friends convinced me to take the medications and they are working out well. I find strength by remembering my grandmother; she was a single mom who, despite many adversities, gave her children, nieces and nephews the opportunity to be educated. I feel a lot better and take time to enjoy my life. I read and enjoy music, I love being outdoors, and my favorite thing to do is walk in the rain.

My wish is that people with HIV can be educated about their illness and help others. This is the only way to stop the spread of the disease. Living with HIV brings about big changes in your life, but it is not the end. We all need to accept it and move forward— it is difficult because everyone’s case if different. But it’s like the storyline in my favorite movie, Independence Day— all of the nations get together to destroy the invaders. In our case, the invader is HIV. Our weapons are improved medications. And together, like the nations in the movie, we can stop the spread of the disease. HIV has killed too many people already, but it stops with me. Are you with us?