Dee
Hometown: Denver, CO
Positive Since: March 4, 2005
Relationship Status: Single
Age: 24
Favorite Quote: “What doesn’t bend, breaks.” -Ani DiFranco
I was born in Denver, CO, but spent the majority of my childhood in suburban Connecticut along the Massachusetts’ border. I currently live in Jamaica Plain, MA, and work in downtown Boston at a coffee shop. I spent a year abroad in Norway during high school, and speak Norwegian as well as Spanish, French, American Sign Language, and some Japanese. I studied dance and theater at the performing arts high school in Hartford, and hoped to become a professional dancer one day.
I am an only child, and I come from a fairly tight-knit family. My mom’s family is small and spread out across the globe. My father’s family is a more traditional Mexican one – many cousins, aunts, and uncles all mostly living near one another in metro Denver.
I spent a lot of my younger years pretending to be the perfect boy that my family wanted. I excelled at this or that, but I was never really happy with anything in my life. After running around the world a bit, I found my escape in drugs. First cocaine and then crystal meth became escapes from the life I didn’t want to live.
Like so many others of my generation, this addiction became the fuel for my HIV infection. A lying boyfriend is par for the course when you’re high on meth, and condoms aren’t always at the forefront of your thoughts.
When I was first diagnosed HIV positive, I wasn’t surprised, yet the shock of the news hit me like a flyswatter – stinging and small, but with the power to kill. I had just celebrated my 21st birthday.
I am incredibly fortunate to have some wonderful friends and family in my life, and I was able to turn to them when I was diagnosed. Liz and Sammi became my anchor and my rock, allowing me to grieve for my past decisions, and motivate me to move positively forward. They showed me that even in the greatest changes life brings, there is still beauty and even humor.
Disclosing my status to my family was a very difficult process, and I wish my using hadn’t interfered with my abilities to reach out to them in my time of need. I can’t imagine what hell I must’ve put them through with coming out as an HIV positive, meth-addicted transwoman all in one shot. At least it got everything out into the open, and became a catalyst to reestablish our relationship.
