Nothing Short Of A Hero
Nothing Short Of A Hero
By Cosgrove Norstadt
Mariah Carey sings about it. Bette Midler sings about her, and Willie Nelson croons about him. Everyone loves a hero; the men and women who have the courage and ability to care for those who can’t care for themselves.
The majority of people idolize the sports hero who gets the all-time high score. They look up to firemen and policemen who are adored for risking their lives daily. They revere politicians who change the world and history alike. We are a nation full of heroes though we scarcely notice nor acknowledge a different kind of hero, the caregiver.
Several years ago I met an elderly couple who were caring for their dying son. They stopped everything they were doing to sit vigil with him. They closed up the family business. They closed up their home and traveled from Fresno, CA to San Francisco to spend every day at the hospital with their son. When he was hungry, they would travel through the city to find his favorite foods. They hoped and prayed that their love would heal their son.
This is what a caregiver does.
Caregivers are the men and women you find standing in line at the pharmacy waiting for prescriptions to be filled. They check and double-check the labels to be sure that the right medications have been doled out. Caregivers sit next to you on the bus as you head home to a night of television while they head home for a night of cleaning soiled sheets.
A caregiver will do what few others will do. They override their own hopes and dreams in order to care for their loved ones. They wake up early in the morning to dole out the proper medications and prepare meals before heading out to work. While most people spend 40 hours a week working, the caregiver spends another 128 working at home.
Caregivers are everywhere. We catch their eye in the grocery store check out line. We honk at them for being distracted at traffic lights. Our patience wears thin for those people we think are paying little attention when in fact they are taking a much deserved break, if even for that brief moment at the light.
Caregivers are unique. They face challenges that others will not accept. Take for instance the Nebraska law that was revoked recently that allowed parents to discard their children. One mother dropping off her teenage son said her child knew she loved him but she just couldn’t take his problems anymore. I don’t begrudge her the lack of skills. She lacks what caregivers have in abundance: stamina, compassion and heart.
Caregivers try to imagine life without sickness. They pray for the strength to get them through and sometimes they pray for death to take their loved ones, yet each day the sun rises and the caregiver is back to scrubbing the urine stained floor and scratching their head over insurance papers - all in the name of love.
Caregivers open their hearts wider then the average Joe. They are found in our neighborhoods as mothers who are caring for their child. They are the husbands brushing out their wives’ hair. They are the daughters wiping the tears of their once strong father. They are the sons who make tea for their mothers.
These are the brave men and women I call heroes. They have the courage and ability to care for those who can’t care for themselves, and I admire them. I admire them for their brave deeds and noble qualities. They are nothing short of a hero.
Cosgrove
Cosgrove Norstadt was born the youngest of four in Ohio in 1963. His father was a Navy Corpsman who passed away before Cosgrove’s mother discovered she was pregnant. His mother was a teacher and taught in the high school Cosgrove attended. She passed away several years ago at the age of 80 after a long battle with Parkinson’s disease.
Cosgrove spent the last several years of his mother’s life caring for her, which were the most cherished days of Cosgrove’s life. Always a deep thinker, Cosgrove found his thoughts making their way to paper during this time in his life–the beginning of Cosgrove’s writing career.
After graduating high school, Cosgrove decided it was time for a change in his life, so he left the city he spent his whole life in and set down new roots in New York in the early 80s. This was his first involvement with the AIDS community. He was involved in Dignity/NY, The People with AIDS Coalition and AIDS Ministry/NY, founded by the Rev. Bernard Lynch.
Having always had an interest in acting and film and television production, Cosgrove left the East Coast in the late 90s and moved to Los Angeles, where he successfully worked as a casting director for many years.
After sero-converting in 2001, Cosgrove began to work with the HIV/AIDS community again. It was during this time that he started writing and documenting his experiences as an HIVer. He worked for a short time with Being Alive in Los Angeles and traveled around LA to speak to high school students about HIV/AIDS education.
In 2003 Cosgrove and his life partner Jeff moved to San Francisco, where they still reside. Having left his career, his friends, and his home behind in Los Angeles because of his crystal methamphetamine addiction. Cosgrove sought a new perspective and a new voice in San Francisco, and he found it.