How has your HIV status affected your family members and friends?

My status definitely had a strong affect on my family's life. My oldest brother Leon had AIDS and died in 1991, so there was a lot of fear about HIV/AIDS. As I mentioned in my bio, my mother was the first person I told, and her response set the precedence of my acceptance.

How has your HIV status affected your family members and friends?

Becoming HIV positive taught me and my family that no one is immune to HIV, nor AIDS simply because we do not date outside of our race. My family became more educated about HIV, and I notice that certain members in my family, that use to deal with more than one partner at a time, suddenly stopped and became more committed to one person, as oppose to the multiple partners they were once dealing with.

How has your HIV status affected your family members and friends?

My family members originally were very frightened when I was diagnosed and they threw me out of their house. Now with more contact and information, they are supportive but cautious.

It is clear from recent reports on new infections that the Latino/a community is not being reached with the information it needs to prevent further infections among men who have sex with men, especially among Latino's who do not speak English.. As a gay Latino man, I am very concerned about this problem. Last year I was involved with a HIV group of Latino's called Corazones Unidos in Oakland who made a presentation at a local Latino Catholic Church at the Spanish speaking Masses.

I think the HIV/AIDS program I would develop would (mostly importantly) treat each and every client like a person with real issues and concerns and not like a number on a doctor's client chart. I would be sure that all who enters my program walked away from it more educated, more empowered, and in a more positive frame of mind than how they were when he or she first walked through the door. I would also include an outreach/follow up component to ensure that all my brothers and sisters out there actually walk the walk, and not just talk the talk when it comes to their health.

I have often thought of my ideal HIV/AIDS program and have even picked a location. The premise of my program would be, “if Mohammad won’t come to the mountain top, bring the mountain top to Mohammad.” I see a large facility that could be used for HIV/AIDS care right in the middle of the hood. I see the facility at 35th St. and MLK, where I grew up in Oakland. There are three separate parks there that were created in my youth and as a child, kids from all around would come to play. Back then they had a sand box, slides, and swings. All of that is gone now.

In the beginning, I lost family and jobs because of my health, but little by little, and with the help from groups, friends, social workers, doctors, and my ex boyfriend, I have prevailed. This knowledge gives me the strength to keep going on with my life and help to prevent HIV/AIDS.

Since my diagnosis, I would say that the only financial loss I’ve ever really experienced was never committing to anything work-related long-term. I have given up more than my share of really good jobs because of my own fears of co-workers finding out that I was HIV positive. Sometimes I think about the really good jobs I’ve had, highlighting the ones I was really proud of. I can’t help but think about where I would be today if I had given some of those companies 10 or 15 years of service.

I can’t say directly I’ve suffered any financial lost since my diagnosis. Indirectly it was fear that cost me. When I was diagnosed in 1993 I was already reeling from the deaths of my two lovers. John, who was my first love, was murdered and Matthew, my second love, died of AIDS after three years. Right when I thought I could go on, I received the news that I was HIV positive. I just knew I was going to die soon. So I gave up on any hope of having a future. All thoughts of school or any other dreams I had felt out of reach.

I give out information on the streets and distribute condoms to the Latino community. I participate in community forums on HIV. I go to the Alameda County HIV offices and fight for services for the Latino community. I have been in various trainings on HIV. I have spoken on the radio about HIV and said that I am positive. In the future, I would like to work as a health educator so I can help and inform the community, especially the Latino communities, because we are the ones that are living with HIV.