DelanoNyBio.jpg

Delano

Hometown: New York, NY
Positive Since: Dec 16, 2002
Relationship Status: Single
Age: 33
Favorite Book: "God in Flight" by Laura Argiri

My first encounter with HIV/AIDS was in elementary school in the 80's. Back then, I didn't know what it was, what made it so virulent or who it was affecting; all I knew was that at that point, those of Haitian heritage were being used as scapegoats and being Haitian myself only fueled my classmates' hatred of me. Unfortunately, when I met up again with HIV at the age of 26, it was not so innocuous. On December 16, 2002 I received and HIV+ diagnosis. Apart from the greatest betrayal of my life by the greatest love of my life (from whom it is strongly believed I was given this "lovely parting gift") a year earlier, finding out this news was the most devastating blow--my heart, my soul, my body, my life and how I viewed it just went shattering down at my feet. I was in such shock I hung up on the doctor. Standing in my kitchen, I felt it become this numb vortex neither here nor there. Every fiber of my body cried out to God: how did this happen to me? How will I tell my family? I felt contaminated, tainted, and dirty.

Finding out I'm positive violently woke me up from the complacent ineptitude that had been my life for over 10 years. Years of believing that God could never love me, never having learned to love, respect and speak up for myself, always feeling less than everybody else resulted with me becoming a man absurdly hungry for another man's love to fill that abysmal void inside of me...to make me happy and whole. I felt I needed a partner so much I would give my body and my heart to men who were only after the physical. Feeling empty without the validation a relationship imparts, I held on to many a disaster longer than I should have and due to my inability to voice my own reality (i.e. having physical intimacy even when I felt otherwise) so as not to hurt the other's feelings, I played Russian roulette with my life and the last shot stuck.

I thank God for my friends who generously shared their love and support. One of my best friends came to my apartment as soon as I called her, distraught out of my mind. If it were not for her and being in her company that first night, I don't know how I would have gotten through it. As soon as I had gotten past the shock and had some time to think, one of the first decisions I made when it came to dating was to disclose my status at the onset. I felt it was my responsibility to take care of myself and others.

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My Articles




      

      The Haitian Perspective 
    

  
  
  	
  		      

        Posted February 1st, 2009 by DelanoJ      

     	
  

    
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Does your ethnicity or culture affect the way you view HIV prevention?


Anyone from the islands will confirm that being gay is not happily embraced-to say the very least; but as I am Haitian, I will speak in reference to my fellow Haitians.   Many old-school Haitian parents tend to be fundamentally religious, not eager to consider ideas that may be discordant to their view of the world and the ideals of whichever faith to which they belong.

Case in point:   my parents.  Both my parents are staunch Seventh-Day Adventists.  My maternal grandparents were  SDAs and I believe my father came from a Catholic background and later converted.

  


      

          

      
    

    

 



      

       Celibacy
    

  
  
  	
  		      

        Posted January 1st, 2009 by FernandoB      

     	
  

    
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How has your sex life changed since you became positive?


I would say that for the time that I was still sexually active--I've been celibate for two years now--I tried to be as cautious as possible.  Disclosure of my status to a potential partner was a given and I definitely would say no to anyone who wanted to bareback.  Even prior to the HIV diagnosis, I rarely let anyone go down on me and definitely since then, I would push a man's head away if he tried to go there.  I just could not live with myself if I gave someone else what I have.  


Anal sex was only an integral part of one relationship that I've ever had--the one from which I was infected.  I would have to be convinced that a particular guy was "the one" and me for him, to even consider going there with him.

  


      

          

      
    

    

 



      

      Each And Everyone Of Us
    

  
  
  	
  		      

        Posted November 25th, 2008 by DelanoJ      

     	
  

    
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With all of the prevention information currently available, why do HIV rates continue to increase?


You know, I’ve often pondered on this subject and discussed it with friends and acquaintances. Often I hear that the government—or so and so--is not doing enough for prevention…true, more could be done by the leaders of our country, but I think the answer to this question lies more with each and everyone of us.

  


      

          

      
    

    

 








  


  

    




      

      
    

  
  
  	
  
  

    
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Yuri, Friend


Delano and I are good friends. We love to do a lot of things together. From hitting the clubs to eating at our favorite places, our friendship is a lot fun. We also talk and share a lot. I try to be there for him when he’s not feeling well and he helps me with my own issues. I’m really proud of the way Delano fights this disease and I am glad I can be there for him.

  


      
    

    

 







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