Alfredo

Hometown: Coatzacoalcos -Veracruz, México
Positive Since: April 1, 1986
Relationship Status: Single
Age: 44
Favorite restaurant: Club Café

I am 44 years old, HIV positive, and a Latino gay man. I was born in Veracruz, México. I am one of seven brothers. I’m a graduate of Puebla University in Puebla, México. While living in Mexico, I was an architect and an art teacher. I moved to Boston in 1993. I learned I was HIV positive while I was applying for my US citizenship. I had only been living in Boston for a month when I was diagnosed.

Growing up I was a quiet boy. My family members, neighbors, and school companions teased me because I was gay. I didn’t play football like my brothers. I was very organized at school, and most of the time, I stayed at home and helped my mother take care of my younger brother.

I had my first gay experience in high school, but it wasn’t till I went to college that I was able to have more freedom and experiences. But even though I felt free, I still thought homosexuality was something I should be ashamed of. That’s why, like many other Latino men who have sex with men, I experienced gay life in the dark, not really being out.

Before I could start my dissertation, graduate, and obtain an architect’s license, I had to do a social service/internship. During my internship, (working on an archeological dig in Cacaxtla, in Tlaxcala, Mexico) I met the woman that was to be my wife. She was from Boston and came to Mexico for a cultural exchange year, and coincidently, she was assigned to work at my site. Six months after we met our friendship turned into a relationship. When she finished her year abroad, she went back to Boston, but we kept the relationship going. Nine months later she returned to Mexico for a vacation and that’s when we got engaged. Nine months after that, I came to Boston for the first time to get married and meet her family.

After our wedding, we returned to Mexico because that’s where I had a job—I worked as a designer and construction supervisor for a big architectural firm. I was also a teacher in a school of technical drafting and arts. We lived in Mexico for three years, but it was difficult for her to deal with the culture, and she couldn’t get a permit to work (according to USA immigration laws) unless she was offered a job, which didn’t happen. She ended up getting physically ill among other things, and she missed her family. So we decided to come back to Boston together. She had a job, but I couldn’t get one then, because I couldn‘t speak English at all. I left my family and my career and entered into an uncertain endeavor, but I was confident that things would work out.